# Oh sh*t! I'm actually having a baby! Estimated time to read 10 minutes First published on [The Skinny Confidential](https://www.theskinnyconfidential.com/how-to-prepare-for-baby/), by Serenity Carr Becoming a parent is a huge decision because it’s one that you can’t back out of. You can’t quit, ghost, or divorce a baby. Once a parent, you will be one forever. By now, you’ve been through the Oh-Shit-I’m-Pregnant stage and now are rapidly moving towards the day that will radically change your life. You’re probably thinking a lot about how to spend these last weeks, how your delivery will go, and what life will be like afterwards. I had my daughter 16 months ago via unplanned c-section. I did some stuff right and some stuff wrong. I’ll tell you what worked well and what I would change next time (shhh… don’t tell my husband I said anything about having baby #2). ## Pampering Your Pre-Mama Self Give yourself a HUGE break. Hormones can make anyone feel crazy, so I blamed much of my grumpiness on hormones. Thankfully, my husband blamed them too, which helped him deal with my pregnant and postpartum (and let’s be honest -- everyday) moods. Let yourself be as comfortable as possible. I have always had trouble sleeping, and it got worse with pregnancy. At the beginning of my third trimester, it was summer in south Texas, and my body was on fire. Nearly every day around 3pm at the peak of the heat, I made a tasty, hydrating, sugar-free slushy using [raspberry LMNT electrolyte powder](https://www.amazon.com/Electrolyte-Hydration-Developed-Artificial-Ingredients/dp/B07SH31T9V/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?keywords=LMNT%2Belectrolyte%2Bpowder%2Braspberry&qid=1575490598&sr=8-1-spons&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzUU80VVVZMkJDRUxJJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMDg4MzI0MVpIVUdVWTVGQVBEUiZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNDM2OTU1Qkc1NE9ES0dJREtKJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ&th=1), a little water, a lot of ice, and a powerful blender. I splurged on a [Chilipad](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07GT9MYRW/ref=psdc_10671044011_t1_B07HS1SXC6?th=1), which is a mattress pad that keeps my bed cool (and now that I’m back to normal keeps my bed warm). Hang with your friends as much as possible, especially if they’re childless. And prepare for the possible loss of those friends. Yes, it’s sad. REALLY SAD! But the sucky truth is that most childless people don’t like hanging out with babies. Babies take a ton of attention, and unless your friend is a hardcore baby-crazy, they won’t want to hear about your clogged duct or baby’s poop. Fill yourself up with adventures, pampering, and creative hobbies. Take lots of baths, get as many massages as you can afford, cook your favorite meals, read lots of books, or write as much as possible. And go on a babymoon! We went to Hawaii and spent some time brainstorming about what sorts of family culture and traditions we wanted to start. It’s thrilling to build an actual family- one million cells at a time! ## Your New Job: Feeding the Baby That said, you probably want to do some nesting and preparing to be a mom. My biggest, #1, MOST IMPORTANT tip is to start learning about breastfeeding before you have the baby. Mother’s milk is the healthiest possible food for your little one, who will hopefully be drinking it exclusively for at least the first 6 months. I took the advice of a friend and attended a couple of free [La Leche League](https://lllusa.org/) meetings before I had Della. I realize this sounds like the most boring way to spend your time, but figure out your breast pump now, while you still have a few brain cells left. Like actually try it on your breasts for a minute. Start following [Legendairy Milk’s Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/legendairymilk/?hl=en), which is hilarious and helpful. They also regularly have tips on optimal pump settings, supplements that increase milk supply (which they sell and I loved), and help with nursing and pumping. Oddly, one of my biggest stressors postpartum was getting dressed. All of a sudden, I had only one robe that fit. Here’s the thing you don’t find out until you have the baby: every item of clothing must allow for full boob accessibility. You’ll probably want to pull your breasts out over the top to avoid blanketing your child with billowy skirt fabric. I LIVED in my [Latched Mama Drawstring Midi Dress](https://latchedmama.com/products/latched-mama-drawstring-midi-nursing-dress) and [Kindred Bravely’s Angelina Nursing and Maternity Nightgown](https://www.kindredbravely.com/products/angelina-nursing-nightgown-maternity?variant=24960457027) because they had soft stretchy fabric and easy boob access. Once you do get into solids, plan to start baby on a nutrient-dense diet of clean meats, healthy fats, bone broth, and organic veggies. When the time comes, check out my baby food company, [Serenity Kids](/content/?rfsn=3504092.df4194). Our pouched purees are the most nutritious baby foods on the market because we mimic the nutrients of mother’s milk with pasture-raised and wild meats, organic vegetables, and healthy fats. ## Building Your Nest My biggest house tip is to get a super-supportive rocking chair or glider. By super-supportive, I mean one with a firm seat and back, AND has armrests close to your elbows. Set up a way for baby to sleep in your room for the first few months. Della slept in the [Snuggle Me](https://www.amazon.com/Snuggle-Organic-Lounger-Essentials-Fiberfill/dp/B07XYBMPDR/ref=sr_1_6?crid=2XKQQT8RSV6T2&keywords=snuggle+me+organic&qid=1575491842&s=baby-products&sprefix=snuggle+me%2Cbaby-products%2C210&sr=1-6) on our dresser for the first 4 months, or whenever she started rolling over. Also, set up diaper changing stations at least upstairs and downstairs. Initially, I was 100% opposed to setting up ugly diaper changing tables and then ended up buying two used ones after a month or two. **Have The Talk With Your Partner** Make a plan for how the two of you are going to connect and spend time together once you’re parents. I didn’t feel like having sex for a couple of months after giving birth, but we made sure to cuddle a lot and get out for fun couple-only time. Someone told us to go on tons of dates before the baby comes, so we did and we quickly learned why. We had a great time trying out new restaurants and were ever at the theater the night before I went into labor. Write your birth plan together -- or at least talk through it. It’s very VERY important your birth partner understands the plan since you won’t be able to talk or think much during labor. **Birthing Process** That said, I did learn a lot about birth by listening to real women’s birth stories on podcasts like [Birthfit, Birth Kweens](https://birthfit.com/blog/2019/01/28/queen-in-training/), and [The Birth Hour](https://thebirthhour.com/). Now that my birth experience was over a year ago, I really wish I had more pictures and videos. While it was happening, I was irritated that my husband was taking videos rather than helping me, but now I’m super glad I do have a few. **Cesarean Section Prep** Most women don’t plan for a c-section. I certainly didn’t. The truth is that a lot of us end up having surgical births. My other tip is specifically for TSC readers: postpartum fashion. After my c-section, I was super stressed out about all the clothes I couldn’t wear. I finally ditched the hideous and uncomfortable mesh hospital panties after getting some lacy [high-waisted c-section recovery panties from Kindred Bravely](https://www.amazon.com/Kindred-Bravely-Postpartum-Underwear-C-Section/dp/B06ZXW23VB?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1&psc=1). You can find a full listing of the products I recommended here and many more on our [Natural Amazon Baby Registry](/content/blogs/news/our-natural-products-baby-registry/index.html). Whew! That was a lot. And probably TMI, but I wanted to tell you the truth, even if it was down and dirty. My hope for you is that you can be gentle with yourself as you navigate the sometimes chaotic journey of motherhood. One of my favorite mantras that kept me going during the darkest times was “women WAY dumber than me have done this”. You’ve totally got this mama!