10 Things a New Mama Really Needs

Estimated time to read 8 minutes

On Monday nights after I tuck my son into bed after 2349 stories, my neighbors and I get together, snuggle up on my couch, catch up about our day, and watch the Bachelor. Yes, we’re totes millennials. Somehow, we got talking about motherhood and new mamas with newborns, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was, “When you went to visit her, I hope you brought her a sandwich and didn’t just hold the baby!” They laughed, blushed, and I said, “No, seriously! She just birthed that sweet little baby and probably still wants to snuggle up with her; bring that mama some food, do a load of laundry, empty her dishwasher, ask how SHE is going, andddd give baby snugs…that’s what new moms really need.” It may have come off a little direct, but that was my #momlife real-life “filter” for you. So, then I was nostalgic of my own days as a doe-eyed mama with a newborn and went down memory lane of what a newly postpartum mama really needs in regards to love and support…and it’s much more than just a visit from friends and family coming over to just “meet the baby.”

1. Ask Mama how SHE is doing. and mean it. New moms are often “forgotten” about during the newborn stage, as all eyes are on the baby. But, Mama needs you now more than ever. Give her a hug, some love, and a massive amount of support; just by being present and asking a few simple phrases like “How are you doing, really?” can go a long way. Especially if you think mama is showing any signs of postpartum depression or anxiety. Be there for her.

2. Don’t come over to just hold the baby to “help.” Do moms need and appreciate a baby-pass-off? Oh hell yes. BUT, the first couple weeks after getting home can be REALLY overwhelming with visits by friends and family. Don’t even offer - just do. Show up and take care of small tasks while meeting the new baby.

3. Building off #2, bring Mama food. Especially if she’s breastfeeding, she will be starving. Bring something like a sandwich, salad with protein, or a freezer meal that takes virtually no effort to heat up.

4. Remember, mama and baby need rest. There are days where a new mom wants to lock her door and hide from everyone while she snuggles up with her baby. Give them space for rest.

5. Do the chores. All of them. It’s no secret partners sometimes don't realize how much work maintains a household. Help with laundry, dishes, vacuum, or any small tasks that can lighten her load.

6. Does Mama have a dog? Take Fido for a quick walk or check the yard for land-mines. It’s a small but meaningful gesture of help.

7. Like I said in #3, Mama needs to EAT! Organize meal trains or grocery deliveries to help her maintain healthy dinners and snacks.

8. To not feel left out. Invite her to gatherings, and don’t stop inviting her even if she can’t make it. It helps to know she isn’t forgotten.

9. If Mama has other kids, now is the time she could really use your help. Offer to help with her other children to give her a break to focus on the newborn.

10. Encourage her to join a mama group. Support from fellow moms is essential. Even if she’s reluctant to meet new people, suggest home gatherings with familiar friends.

BONUS # 11. Remember that the journey into motherhood is both exciting and overwhelming. Being present and offering support in any way is invaluable.

Moms, what would you add to this list? What did you really need as a new mom?
Written by Shelley Hopper;

This post was originally published on the HuffPost Contributor platform.